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Friday, February 01, 2008

Is the Pope a Catholic?... Apparently not.

The Daily Mail and Daily Express have both run very funny features on the most stupid answers ever given by contestants on British tv and radio quizzes. And I can assure you, we're talking real STOOOPID.

Here's a few classics:

Jamie Theakston: Where do you think Cambridge University is?Contestant: Geography isn't my strong point.
Theakston: There's a clue in the title.
Contestant: Leicester?

Compere: What is the capital of Italy?
Contestant: France.
Compere: France is another country. Try again.
Contestant: Oh, um, Benidorm.

Compere: How long did the Six Day War between Egypt and Israel last?
Contestant (after a long pause): Fourteen days.

From The Weakest Link:
Anne Robinson: Oscar Wilde, Adolf Hitler and Jeffrey Archer have all written books about their experience in what: prison, or the Conservative Party?
Contestant: The Conservative Party.

Compere: For £10, what is the nationality of the Pope?
Contestant: I think I know that one. Is it Jewish?

Compere: What was the name of Tony Blair's chief spin-doctor who resigned in 2003?
Contestant: Iain Duncan Smith.

Come to think of it, the way IDS parroted Blair's ludicrous claims about Iraqi WMDs, the last one isn't such a stupid answer after all.....


Anonymous said...

Ian Hislop should sue - those are breathtakingly blatant rip-offs of Private Eye's long-running "Dumb Britain" section.

Anonymous said...

Neil, Iraqi WDS?

Neil Clark said...

well done, Belaruski, I thought you'd spot that deliberate typo....
I must have had the initials Tony Blair's spin doctor still on the brain....

Anonymous said...

Deliberate typo!
Very Captain Mainwaring!

Neil Clark said...

Absolutely! The trouble is that when you use the line with people who don't know Dad's Army, they think you're being serious and are trying to worm out of making a mistake.

Roland Hulme said...

An American stand-up does a routine over here:

"You can get a nose job. You can get your boobs made bigger. You can get a hair-transplant on your bald spot. You can get lasik surgery to correct your vision. But what's the one thing they can't fix? Yep, you got it. There ain't no cure for stupid."

Anonymous said...

Talking of deliberate typos, according to this week's Private Eye they've been planting them in 'Dumb Britain' so they can finger lazy newspapers who nick their stuff - and, presumably, bloggers who nick it in turn.

Here's the full item:

The Telegraph, Mail and Express devoted pages last week to their own meticulously researched exposé of some of the stupider responses by contestants on quiz shows - each of which managed to reproduce 26 items which had previously appeared in the Eye's long-running Dumb Britain column, one complete with the same spelling mistake we cleverly inserted back in February 2002. (followed by an understandable plug for the spin-off book)