The Daily Bomber- the latest discoveries

The Daily Bomber is pleased to reveal that our intrepid reporter 'Neo' Con Coction has made more damning discoveries during his trawl around bombed-out ministries in Baghdad. Documents have come into our possession which clearly show that Tony Benn, Seumas Milne, John Pilger and Peter Wilby and indeed all other eloquent, charismatic and popular figures in the anti-war movement, were in the pay of Saddam's evil Baathist regime. Benn, our documents reveal received a full year's free supply of tea bags and Mars bars, courtesy of the Iraqi Ministry of Food and Agriculture. Milne was offered free holidays in Basra in return for writing his fiery anti-war pieces for The Guardian, while Pilger received a life-time supply of green short-sleeved shirts in recognition for his efforts to prevent Shock and Awe. Wilby meanwhile received a ten year season ticket to watch his beloved Leicester rugby union team as a quid pro quo for penning his hard-hitting New Statesman editorials. Commenting on the discoveries, Lady Amiel-Black Warmonger of the Henry Jackson Society said 'This is what we and our pro-liberation allies at Bomber Harry's Place said all along: that opposition to the war was motivated purely by commercial self-interest. As I said myself to Dick Cheney, whose Haliburton company is doing such a fine job in rebuilding Iraq-isn't it disgusting that people allow their own financial interests to affect their judgement on issues of war and peace'.