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Tuesday, January 08, 2008

Some 2008 Crystal ball- gazing


LABOUR'S NEW TREASURER ARRIVES AT PARTY HQ.

Welsh sage 'Old Ifan' a.k.a. Robert Griffiths, has been gazing at his crystal ball in the Morning Star and here is a selection of events that he forsees:

FEBRUARY: Middle East peace envoy Tony Blair calls for a military strike against Iran. "When we claimed that Iraq had WMD, we we wrong. Now that US Intelligence say Iran doesn't have a nuclear weapons programme, what's to say that we're not wrong again?", the devout Christian will ask.

MAY: Following a successful appeal for fraud and racketerring, Conrad Black (above) is offered the post of Labour Party treasurer. "After the hands-off style of Jack Dromey, Labour needs someone with a more hand-on approach to help us out of our financial hole," laughs the 21-year-old media consultant who is Brown's deputy chief of staff.

SEPTEMBER: This year's Labour Party conference is sponsored by Northern Rock. "It's the least we could do," chief executive Nick Moolah-Taxhaven says in a live satellite link from his Cayman Islands estate.

Sounds pretty-far fetched, I hear you say. But who would have predicted in the 1980s that Labour, when returned to power, would launch a succession of illegal wars of aggression, carry on with Thatcherite privatisation policies and preside over the biggest rise in inequality for almost a century?

2 comments:

Roland Hulme said...

I know, it's awesome. If I'd have known it was this easy to get the Torys into power, I'd have stopped voting conservative years ago.

Anonymous said...

Labour in government have been a pretty awful joke. Unfortunately, they're also one that's far from funny.